Non-Attachment In Life & Love – 3 Lessons & Ram Dass Quotes

Ram Dass is a yogi and spiritual teacher. His book Be Here Now, published in 1971, remains one of the most popular spiritual texts in the world today. His teachings are based on the concept that our attachment leads to our suffering.

“The most exquisite paradox… as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.” ― Ram Dass Quotes

When you are ‘attached’ to life, you are fearful. Your energy and thoughts are likely to be based in lack rather than abundance, and it is common to attempt to control and manipulate situations because of this fear. We act this way because we believe that if we surrender control of our lives, that things will inevitably fall apart. In his teachings, Dass expresses the need and capacity for us to let go of attachment, and to be free of the need to know all of ‘the answers’. This is truly a practice in trust.

“The most important aspect of love is not in giving or the receiving: it’s in the being. When I need love from others, or need to give love to others, I’m caught in an unstable situation. Being in love, rather than giving or taking love, is the only thing that provides stability. Being in love means seeing the Beloved all around me.” ― Ram Dass Quotes

As with our relationship to life, attachment in relationships to people is unhealthy and will lead to suffering. When we are attached to another person, we choke the opportunity for genuine love. Often we think that our safety and feeling of love resides in how our friends and loved ones treat us, but truthfully, that is not love; that is attachment, and it comes from insecurity and fear. If we believe that a person should treat us this way or that, and get upset when they do not, then we are attached – not in love. When we can practice acceptance in our relationships, we can separate from attachment and create the environment for love to flourish.

The question we need to ask ourselves is whether there is any place we can stand in ourselves where we can look at all that’s happening around us without freaking out, where we can be quiet enough to hear our predicament, and where we can begin to find ways of acting that are at least not contributing to further destabilization.” ― Ram Dass Quotes

Practicing non-attachment is challenging. It can seem really scary to let go of control in our lives and relationships, and become the observer instead. But if we can practice this, we can establish a true connection with our inner safety and make choices calmly, without causing conflict internally or externally.

And finally, I want to finish this post with these words, as I think they sum up non-attachment beautifully.

“Prolong not the past
Invite not the future
Do not alter your innate wakefulness
Fear not appearances
There is nothing more than this” 
― Ram Dass