3 Simple Tips – How To Deal With Toxic People (One Of Them Is Homicide)… Jokes …
We all experience times in life where we are confronted with certain people that make us feel uncomfortable. This could show up in many ways, and in many different circumstances.
It could be the new boss at your company who makes you feel belittled and small.
It could be your partner’s best friend, who doesn’t even seem to notice you.
Or it could even be a family member; someone who makes you angry and somehow manages to press all of your buttons.
Often we will run into trouble when we meet these people because we put ourselves into a victim mentality, and start to create conflict without even meaning to. This could manifest in arguments, backstabbing, negative emotions and can result in us feeling disconnected and even depressed.
Thankfully, there are several tools you can use to help you cope in a positive way when you are presented with a person like this in your life, instead of letting your emotions run away with you.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama
Change the focus.
Other people’s responses and choices come from their personal experience and perspective. It is not about you. Once you remove the focus from yourself and employ empathy to the person who is being difficult, then you are practicing compassion. When you see this person as a hurt person rather than annoying or toxic, you are creating a positive charge in your own body and will naturally feel better. You also open yourself up to seeing the person in their pure form, rather than in the ways you have decided that they are bad or wrong.
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival” – Audre Lorde
Release the tension.
When someone gets under your skin it’s important to let it out; not at them, but in other, more healthy and productive ways. You can turn the negative energy you are feeling into a positive practice. Go for a run, swim or anything else you may enjoy to help move the tension and stress from your body. It is natural to feel this tension in your body in places like your jaw, neck, shoulders and even your scalp. Practicing yoga or even having a massage can help you stretch out and release these feelings.
“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” ― Albert Einstein
When you are having difficulty with someone in your life, it is most important to set aside time to breathe and meditate. This will not magically solve the issue but it will provide clarity and generate a more peaceful state of being for YOU. It will help you recognise which emotions are being brought up for you because of this person’s presence in your life, and will therefore equip you with more self-awareness. Meditation has the power to calm your attachment to emotions, and once you release the attachment, emotions can flow out of you, unadulterated by your former identification with pain.